How to Embrace a Positive Masculinity

Atoxic masculinity and the eight rules for being a good man.

The Opposite of Toxic Masculinity

Toxic masculinity is a term that often circulates on social media and in various online discussions. This concept refers to problematic attitudes surrounding masculinity, which can adversely affect not only women but also other men. A recent study by Hill Cone et al. (2026) revealed that only 10.8% of male participants exhibited signs of toxic masculinity, suggesting that the overwhelming majority of men do not embody these harmful traits (you can read more about this study in my blog post, “Good News: Study Shows That Most Men Are Not Toxic” here).

The study aimed to define toxic masculinity using psychological concepts, which is key as the term is often misused or misunderstood. By examining the eight contributing factors of toxic masculinity, we can discern what it means to aspire to atoxic masculinity. Here are eight essential rules for becoming a better man:

1. Don’t Let Being a Man Be Too Important for Your Sense of Self

The first factor identified in the study is called gender identity centrality. This psychological concept measures how pivotal one’s masculinity is to their self-identity. Men with high levels of toxic masculinity tend to place immense importance on their identity as men. In contrast, atoxic men recognize that being male is just one facet of who they are. They embrace a more holistic view of self that includes a diverse range of traits and qualities.

2. Don’t Have Negative Prejudices About People Based on Their Sexual Orientation

The study also covered sexual prejudice, which involves harboring negative attitudes toward others based on their sexual orientation. Men displaying toxic masculinity typically judge others harshly for their sexual preferences. Atoxic men, however, exhibit acceptance and tolerance, understanding that sexual orientation is a personal matter that does not define one’s character or worth.

3. Be Nice to Others

A key aspect of toxic masculinity is disagreeableness, a personality trait linked with being unfriendly and abrasive. Atoxic men, in contrast, radiate agreeableness; they strive to be kind and considerate, fostering positive social interactions. Atoxic men recognize the power of kindness and courtesy in building meaningful relationships.

4. Don’t Be Narcissistic

The study highlighted narcissism as another concerning personality trait associated with toxic masculinity. Toxic men often exhibit a heightened sense of self-worth, frequently overshadowing the needs of others. In contrast, atoxic men demonstrate lower levels of narcissism, putting the well-being of their friends, family, and community at the forefront.

5. Don’t Be Sexist

Hostile sexism, which encompasses overtly negative attitudes towards women, is a significant element of toxic masculinity. Atoxic men actively reject hostile sentiments and traditions that demean women, standing instead for respect and equality in all interactions.

6. Question Your Stereotypes About Women, Even If You Are Well-Meaning

Interestingly, a second type of sexism explored in the study is benevolent sexism, characterized by seemingly kind attitudes that still perpetuate stereotypes about women. For instance, offering unsolicited help, assuming women need assistance due to perceived physical limitations, exemplifies this form of sexism. Atoxic men are aware of these dynamics and work against both hostile and benevolent sexism, striving for genuine equality.

7. Support Domestic Violence Prevention Initiatives

Another trait associated with toxic masculinity is vocal opposition to domestic violence prevention initiatives. Conversely, atoxic men not only acknowledge these issues but actively support efforts designed to dismantle violence against women in all forms, championing safety and respect in relationships.

8. Fight for Equality

The final aspect of toxic masculinity outlined in the study relates to social dominance orientation, which refers to a preference for hierarchical structures over egalitarianism. Toxic men often favor strong leaders and seek to maintain established norms of dominance. Atoxic men, however, advocate for social equality, valuing fairness and inclusivity across gender lines, recognizing the importance of collective strength in community endeavors.

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